Nothing says BOSS like a cave under your crib. But how do you go about getting your own cave built? We did some searching and came across Magorian Mine Services (MMS), a commercial cave builder specializing in high-profile underground wine caves like the 14,000 square foot Vineyard 29 cave pictured above and in the thumbs.

Using primarily non-blasting tunneling methods and shotcrete underground support, MMS puts it cutting-edge engineering methods to work to construct both small and large caves alike. Most of the company’s projects involve constructing commercial wine storage facilities for some of the world’s largest wineries, but MMS could just as easily construct the ultimate residential cave to serve almost any function you could imagine or want, Bat Cave included.

Caves can serve practical functions and actually save you money over time. Wine caves maintain average temperatures of 55°-60°F and humidity of 80%-90%, thereby reducing evaporation and spoilage without significant energy inputs. And even if you’re not a wine connoisseur, caves make a good place for parties, home theaters, and other collection storage. Caves also last longer than buildings and are easier to permit on average.

For more information visit Magorian Mine Services’ website.

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The world’s largest music collection, owned by avid collector Paul Mawhinney, is up for grabs at a cost of $3 million. In the collection are about 1.5 million 45s, a million+ LPs, 300,000 CDs, thousands of 78s, and a lot of miscellaneous cassettes, eight-tracks, etc. Most of the music comes from independent record labels and every genre of American music is represented. Unsurprisingly, more than half of the records in the collection are new.

Mawhinney bought his first record 60 years ago and hasn’t stopped buying them since. When his collection hit 160,000 records the Mawhinney’s wife forced him to move them from his house to a 16,000 square foot climate-controlled warehouse nearby. The owner preferably seeks a museum buyer and cites advancing age, declining health, and associated financial concerns as his reasons for selling.

Available through: The World’s Greatest Music Collection and eBay [via UberReview/Geekologie]

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We’ve been hitting you with A LOT of furniture lately, and we promise to move on soon, but these erotic woodcarvings are too funny to not post immediately. Mario Philippona is a Dutch craftsman that specializes in erotic furniture carvings. His work is inspired by the most attractive female forms, and his pieces available for sale are hilarious. Pictured above is Philippona’s 4Legs dining room chair ($11,600), which the artist made to fit his Trio table ($29,000; thumb 1). Two other great carvings that you can buy now include Philippona’s Boobycase ($14,500; thumb 2) and his Winespread table ($2,300; thumb 3; look closely). Philippona’s new Rotterdam studio will be a definite side trip the next time we go to Amsterdam.

Available through: Mario Philippona Design

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Made by Scabetti, a British design company, the Prophopot is a ceramic bedside storage jar for condoms. The “hypoallergenic” jar top comes in seven flavors, each lubricated with a non-spermicidal glaze. And no, we’re not making that up. Measuring an unextended 3 1/2″ tall with a 5′” girth, the top looks built for an elephant. And unless you’re planning to hide the Prophopot in your drawer, which would be pointless, you’d better pick up a box of Magnums to go along with it.

Available for just under $30 through Scabetti

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• Live by the Gun

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If you don’t like cleaning your gun collection, then the F636HT Heavy Duty Long Gun & Handgun System could be your solution. The professional gun cleaning tank comes with a generator than provides the power to heat and treat your weapons with cleaning concentrate and lubricant. The system can fit up to 10 handguns or 4 long gun parts, meaning it will clean everything from derringers to belt-fed MG’s. And with the initial supply of cleaning solution provided, you can clean up to 1,000 guns.

Available for $7,100 through SonicsOnline

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